People have deep subconscious needs, and
the deepest need of all, the core emotional need of the human being, is for
self-esteem. It is to maintain healthy relationships of mutual respect. The deepest
need is to feel important.
An important way of satisfying a deep subconscious need for
self-esteem and personal value is acceptance.
Sociologists say that lack of acceptance, or rejection from
individuals or groups, is the main cause for many problems with disaffected
groups in our society. Much of the antisocial behaviors of these groups is
aimed at somehow gaining the acceptance of people who they feel do not accept
them currently and to gain healthy relationships.
In healthy relationships, this is what everyone is seeking.
Everyone wants to be liked and accepted just the way they are.
If all you did was to continually express unconditional acceptance
to each person you meet, both at home and at your workplace, you would soon be
one of the most popular in your world. And how do you express unconditional
acceptance? Simple. It’s to wear a smile.
Wear
a Smile
It takes twelve muscles to smile and 113 muscles to frown. When
you smile at another person, a warm, genuine smile, you tell that other person
that he or she is attractive, pleasant, likeable, safe and secure in your
estimation. A single smile is so powerful that it can often transform a person with
low self-esteem, jolting them from negativity to a person with a positive
attitude.
Smiles are so powerful that many long-term marriages and healthy
relationships have begun with a single smile shared across a room. You’ve heard
people say that, “When our eyes met, we both knew that we were meant for each
other.”
Each morning, when you come to work, “do the rounds.” Go to each
person on your team and smile at them. Ask them how they are. Take a few
moments to listen patiently and smile while they tell you what they are doing
and how they are feeling. As you go from person to person, like a lamp lighter
going from lamp to lamp, they will light up and smile themselves, feeling happy
about being at work. When you go around and smile at people, it is very much
like stepping on the accelerator of their potential and igniting positive
attitude wherever you go. They start to perform at a higher level because their
self-esteem has risen.
The
Big Payoff
There is a big payoff for smiling at people. When you smile at
another person, the physical action releases endorphins in your brain.
Endorphins are called nature’s “happy drug.” They make you feel happy and raise
your self-esteem. When you smile, you feel and act in a more personable way to
everyone around you and exude a feeling of positive attitude. The most popular
and influential people in most situations are people who genuinely smile at
others when
they meet them and greet them.
Every time you smile, you not only make other people feel better
about them, but you raise your self-esteem, increase your level of positive
attitude and feel better about yourself as well. You will start to build
healthy relationships all around you. All it takes is the deliberate decision
by you to smile at the people around you, and to express to them that you are
genuinely happy to see them. The opposite of smiling is being negative or
passive. It is walking around the office with a glum or a negative look on your
face. Since everyone takes everything personally, if you are negative for any
reason, each of your staff members wonders if it is something that they have done
personally that has made you happy. They become preoccupied with your mood.
They slow down their work and their creativity comes to a halt. If you are
negative for any period of time, they start to talk about it and worry about
their jobs. Even if you are negative because you have an abscessed tooth that
is causing you pain and discomfort, because other people do not know this, they
will assume that they have done something wrong that has displeased you.
Courtesy: Brian Tracy
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